Shirley Sunday 2013: The Abominable Meatloaf Returns!

Let me just say that this is an appropriate time for me to return to the blogging world. First reason is that a LOT of people have been asking me to start blogging again. Second reason is that they all want me to blog about Hurricane Shirley. And I have a LOT more material!

A lot of things have changed in the last few months for me, like moving to a new town (almost literally if you know me and where I live) and FINALLY getting disability for the mental disorders that had nearly crippled me from normal life! Unfortunately, even moving 45 minutes away from the parental units did not deter them from invading my life at regular intervals.

Our old house was a bungalow of shall we say intimate proportions. We were usually on top of each other...and not in the good way! Too small for long (overnight) visits from mom and dad. Now we live in a generous two-story. When we moved, mom decided to take a course at the local community college which has a satellite location in our town. She just HAD to take the course at our town's location. Every Friday. So every Thursday night without fail, we had an overnight visitor. Because apparently 45 minutes is too far to drive for her class in one day. Mind you, the woman makes multiple trips every week to locations far greater in distance than my house. After a while, dad started staying the night as well, because he works only seven minutes from our house. That's right, my mother refused to drive 45 minutes ONE day a week and my father has been doing it FIVE or SIX days a week for 40(!) years. Needless to say, while the hubbs was still working in our old town (driving 45 minutes TWICE a week) I would be sharing MY house with the two people I specifically moved away from for more independence. OK, so that's the backstory...now onto the meatloaf.

It was the hubbs birthday. He turned 31 on a Wednesday, and we had a barbecue planned for Saturday. We had planned to walk to a local eatery and celebrate quietly. Then mom called and informed us we need not eat, she was making her meatloaf- a (very) loose interpretation of my cousin's recipe. Now look, I love meatloaf, even being a person who doesn't really like red meat. What she made most closely resembled wet cat food in sight and texture. The taste wasn't terrible, but I couldn't get past the texture. I mean, who puts evaporated milk in meatloaf? The answer should be no one. Trust me.

I ate exactly 3 bites and declared myself full (of whatever I could snack on before). I knew the horrific meal that was going to be presented and warned the hubbs that we should at least snack so we didn't go hungry. He expected bad, but was not prepared. I'm pretty sure he'll trust me about what mom can and can't successfully cook from now on.

I am absolutely terrified because she has already talked about the recipe she wants to try for my birthday in a couple weeks...prepare the airsick bags!

You know though, on a serious note, I am very lucky. I was blessed with two moms. One who gave birth to me and one who was there from the beginning. My mom means well and she's a really nice lady with a lot of old-fashioned behaviors. I think I'll cut her a break today and just say "Happy Mother's Day to a mom who constantly keeps me on my toes." Oh, and thanks in advance for never making your meatloaf again!

Love and Laughter,
-Kat Lady

Kat Lady: An introduction

This being my first post, I guess I should be a good kitty and introduce myself and my life. I live in a medium sized town, in a medium sized state in a...wait for it.... ha! You're wrong! A SMALL house. Miniscule really... just barely enough room for two adults and three cats. Usually.I live a pretty typical life except for a few things. 1. I'm bi-polar. This should make for some very interesting posts! 2. I was raised by a category 5 hoarder. Nope, no issues from that...lol. 3. I am multi-racial. I sometimes feel like the result of a racial blender. 4. I'm adopted. From Wendy's. Seriously. 5. I married a very interesting person. Life is always better when you choose to spend it with interesting people.

Sooooo.....Let's just kick this off then...

I am a social butterfly. I spend copious amounts of time with people....mainly because I can't stand being alone. Oh, and I like being with my friends. My mother has some kind of innate ability to know when I'm having fun, and an immediate buzzkill button. It's called SEND on her cellphone.

This is a typical conversation with mom.

My phone rings.... I groan when I see caller ID because I KNOW what's about to ensue.

Mom: JEEEEAAAANNNN ANNNNNNN

Me: Yes, Mom...

Mom: Can you type a paper for me? (Let me interject, my mother has gone back to community college after 30 years, and does not know a mouse from a USB.)

Me: How long is it?

Mom: It needs to be 600 words. It's for the school paper. (I cringe...this means I have to actually spend time editing it down from her 5 pages of written notes to 600 words.)

I now interrupt this blog to insert a sample written word for word from my mother's notes.

"Children do learn what they live. Kids whatch us all. We all are examples. Do you want to be a gl (?) block to them?"

What I wrote- "Children learn from what we show them. We need to be good examples instead of stumbling blocks for them."

OH the IRONY!!!!



Me: Let me see what I'm doing this week. Bring it by and I'll try to fit it in. (praying for something to come up)

Mom: Ok. Have you heard from brother? (who moved away for a better job and some freedom)

Me: No, mom, he doesn't call me. ( Sometimes he shows up when he comes through town. He made me promise not to tell her when he comes through.)

Mom: How about daddy? You know he always has his phone off, and he never spends time with me, and I just don't know if I can take it anymore.

Me: uh-huh (approximately at this point is when I check out until she runs out of steam)

Mom: He snores! He sleeps all the time! He doesn't shower! (Yes, he does shower, he does snore, and he sleeps because he works 50 to 60 hours a week at a welding shop to give HER money to buy things to hoard.)

Me: mmm.

Mom: How's the weather? (she lives 15 minutes away)

Me: good. It snowed out west though.

Mom: Oh, how did you hear that? (facepalm inserted here...seriously?)

Me: The news, mom. I heard it on the news.

Mom: oh, ok. You let me know if daddy calls you.

Me: Ok, bye Mom.

Mom: hangs up.

Those who know my mother know this is just a tiny bit of what she's capable of. I'm sure there will be plenty of stories featuring Hurricane Shirley.

Well, that's about it for today...tomorrow we will converse about my husband and fur children.

-Kat Lady