Showing posts with label bipolar. Show all posts
Showing posts with label bipolar. Show all posts

Monday, April 4, 2011

I'm Bi-Winning!!!


Yes, being bi-polar is a serious subject, and it is a mental illness. However, as I am a card-carrying member of the bi-polar community I have decided that I have the express permission to make fun of it and myself. So if I offend you, please complain loudly to everyone you know on the internet. No publicity is bad publicity...lol :)

Ok, so yes, I'm bi-polar. I live my life in one of two very different modes. There's Rabid Squirrel Mode, and Eeyore. Now I admit the meds have created a decidedly less intense experience in either mode, but they are still there, and they are FAHHHHBULOUS!!! Unless I hate it. You see what I mean...

Rabid Squirrel Mode (or RSM) is always fun. I usually get into trouble in this mode though. RSM causes me to encourage myself to attempt things that E Mode would think impossible. Some examples, you say?

One night in college while in RSM I went to Walmart with a friend. Now Walmart is normally overwhelming, but imagine the experience when everything is sped up and shiny. Yes, it was like a carnival of colors, sounds, smells, and tastes! I decided we should grocery shop "Extreme Style!!!!" I convinced her to go to the aisle just left of the one I was in. I grabbed a box of cookies and yelled, "BUCKET!!!!" as loud as I possibly could- to warn of incoming missiles. (My friend CD will remember that phrase from a former Walmart trip...see what you did???) After I was sure she heard me, I hurled that box of cookies over the shelves and theoretically right into the cart. I heard a thud, and an elderly voice say, "What in the daylights?" rather dazedly. I knew the proverbial crap had hit the fan at that point. Suddenly, there was security, looking rather nonplussed at my Herculean attempt. There was no humor as they escorted us both to the security office. "Ma'am, what exactly were you trying to prove out there?" I looked sheepish and said I was curious if it would cut our grocery shopping time down. He informed me that I could be charged with assault- I told him that technically the Keebler elves should be charged with the assault. He didn't find that as funny as I did. The police were called to give me a breathalyzer because apparently sober people do not try to pin crimes on fictional elves. I passed, apologized to the lady, bought her groceries, promised to never do it again, and she declined to press charges. I swore my friend to secrecy and we drove back to the conservative Christian college I attended.

So yes, RSM is dangerous, especially when un-medicated. But Eeyore Mode (E Mode) is just ridiculous. In E Mode, I am terribly afraid of EVERYTHING. As I said, everything is intensified in either mode. In college, we decided to watch Stephen King's IT. I am not a fan of any horror movie, but add in an already healthy fear of clowns, and you have hysterical nightmares and paranoia. For 3 nights after I innocently sat down to watch a movie with my friends I refused to walk anywhere alone on campus, locked myself in my dorm room, and made my friends promise to warn me if they saw any clowns lurking about. I know, this sounds like schizophrenia, but I have a very VIVID imagination, and I was immature for my age. So anyway, I still harbor a fear of clowns, but it's not as bad as it could be, thanks to my friends deciding to be nice and not tease me with fake clown sightings. Small favors, right?

Once I got on medication, the two modes evolved into a more subdued Eager Terrier Mode, (ET Mode) and Pout Mode (P Mode). Now I just get overexcited over stupid things, and/or grumpy about stupid things. You know, like most people...lol

Anyway, I love being bi-polar. Did I mention I hate being bi-polar? :) In the words of Charlie Sheen I leave you.

I'm Bi-WIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNGGGGGG!

Love and Laughter,
-Kat Lady

Saturday, March 12, 2011

Kat Lady: An introduction

This being my first post, I guess I should be a good kitty and introduce myself and my life. I live in a medium sized town, in a medium sized state in a...wait for it.... ha! You're wrong! A SMALL house. Miniscule really... just barely enough room for two adults and three cats. Usually.I live a pretty typical life except for a few things. 1. I'm bi-polar. This should make for some very interesting posts! 2. I was raised by a category 5 hoarder. Nope, no issues from that...lol. 3. I am multi-racial. I sometimes feel like the result of a racial blender. 4. I'm adopted. From Wendy's. Seriously. 5. I married a very interesting person. Life is always better when you choose to spend it with interesting people.

Sooooo.....Let's just kick this off then...

I am a social butterfly. I spend copious amounts of time with people....mainly because I can't stand being alone. Oh, and I like being with my friends. My mother has some kind of innate ability to know when I'm having fun, and an immediate buzzkill button. It's called SEND on her cellphone.

This is a typical conversation with mom.

My phone rings.... I groan when I see caller ID because I KNOW what's about to ensue.

Mom: JEEEEAAAANNNN ANNNNNNN

Me: Yes, Mom...

Mom: Can you type a paper for me? (Let me interject, my mother has gone back to community college after 30 years, and does not know a mouse from a USB.)

Me: How long is it?

Mom: It needs to be 600 words. It's for the school paper. (I cringe...this means I have to actually spend time editing it down from her 5 pages of written notes to 600 words.)

I now interrupt this blog to insert a sample written word for word from my mother's notes.

"Children do learn what they live. Kids whatch us all. We all are examples. Do you want to be a gl (?) block to them?"

What I wrote- "Children learn from what we show them. We need to be good examples instead of stumbling blocks for them."

OH the IRONY!!!!



Me: Let me see what I'm doing this week. Bring it by and I'll try to fit it in. (praying for something to come up)

Mom: Ok. Have you heard from brother? (who moved away for a better job and some freedom)

Me: No, mom, he doesn't call me. ( Sometimes he shows up when he comes through town. He made me promise not to tell her when he comes through.)

Mom: How about daddy? You know he always has his phone off, and he never spends time with me, and I just don't know if I can take it anymore.

Me: uh-huh (approximately at this point is when I check out until she runs out of steam)

Mom: He snores! He sleeps all the time! He doesn't shower! (Yes, he does shower, he does snore, and he sleeps because he works 50 to 60 hours a week at a welding shop to give HER money to buy things to hoard.)

Me: mmm.

Mom: How's the weather? (she lives 15 minutes away)

Me: good. It snowed out west though.

Mom: Oh, how did you hear that? (facepalm inserted here...seriously?)

Me: The news, mom. I heard it on the news.

Mom: oh, ok. You let me know if daddy calls you.

Me: Ok, bye Mom.

Mom: hangs up.

Those who know my mother know this is just a tiny bit of what she's capable of. I'm sure there will be plenty of stories featuring Hurricane Shirley.

Well, that's about it for today...tomorrow we will converse about my husband and fur children.

-Kat Lady