Monday, June 27, 2011

Then and Now: A humorous retrospective.

Today we are taking a trip back 20 years to when I was 9, and seeing some of my favorite childhood things in a new light. So, back to 1991----

We'll start with TV. I didn't have cable, so my TV spectrum was limited to Saturday Morning Cartoons, PBS, and daytime talk shows.  Only recently have I been able to get to enjoy the Nickelodeon gems that were in their heyday in the 90s.  I have come to one conclusion. Everything I thought was hilarious or cute on TV back then is now unbearably creepy. I mean come on, Pee Wee's Playhouse featured the equivalent of a pedophile on an acid trip, and Mr. Rogers certainly wasn't sketchy at all (can you feel the sarcasm?). What kind of grown man changes his clothes four times in a half hour, and then plays "make-believe" with his puppets? I think he and Miss Aberly had something going on. (A little bit of "hide the Trolley?")

Of course daytime talk shows were no better. What with Jerry Springer and Maury Povich, my summer was spent vacillating between watching incestuous twins fight, and hearing if PoShaLaQueNisha was telling the truth that JaQuonLaDonte was the father. (Usually not.)

Because of the lack of quality boob tubery, I was (luckily) forced to actually find other things to do. You know, like dry humping my barbies on my brother's GI Joes. I loved my Care Bears (though I secretly favorited Sunshine Bear and the one with Rainbow on it's tummy) and I positively coveted my own little stash of My Little Ponys. When I got the scratch and sniff fruity pony I actually hid it in my closet so no one could get it but me. ( I know, what a selfish little imp!) There was one type of toy I wanted desperately and was not allowed to get (Mom said they were disgustingly ugly, I was like DUH!) called the Troll Doll. I wanted one in every color and especially the ones with the jewels for belly buttons! (Kinda glad I didn't get them, because I would rather not be compared to Mimi from Drew Carey.) One toy scared me so senseless that I will not touch one to this day. It probably had something to do with me watching Chuckie at a friends house right around the same time I got it. Teddy Ruxpin. What a creepy toy! Something about a toy talking to you just makes me shiver. My brother was always telling me it would kill me if I left it facing me while I slept. It lived in the closet right across from the fruity pony, but for obviously different reasons.

I never really did get into 90s music, but I was also immersed (forcefully) into hearing Garth, or George, or Johnny, or Waylon's voices bombarding me at full volume every morning on the way to school. Everyone else was into NSYNC and BSB, and Britney. The more they loved them, the more I hated the artist. I've just never been a bubblegum pop kinda girl.  Reba and Martina's lyrics were the ones I belted at the top of my lungs.  (Badly.)

I guess now that I'm looking back I realize that the things I found intriguing back then were good back then. (Now I can't sit through a whole 90s show without needing a break to wash the schmaltz off.

So be it I guess. Nostalia is a fickle and fie lover.

To looking back, and Ebaying the crap outta your old toys.

Love and Laughter,
-Kat Lady