Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Wednesday Battle: Cats Versus Dogs

I have decided to institute a new feature! Wednesday Battles will feature competitions between two things, from a humorous perspective...

For the inaugural Wednesday Battle, we'll examine a common war. Cats Vs. Dogs. Let us begin.

Dogs are inherently social animals. So social that they will walk up to a stranger and sniff at their tuna fish taco or extra large hotdog. Yep, a snout straight to the crotch is one way to introduce yourself, but often is considered rude. Dogs will usually introduce themselves with a bark or wag of tail, but occasionally introduce themselves by peeing all over themselves and your shoes. When going for walks, dogs are often chick magnets and can probably get you laid every once in a while. Some dogs are anti-social and would rather rip off your arm than sniff your crotch. Dogs are widely known as man's best friend, and are loyal to the end. Unless they smell something interesting...

Cats are independent and high strung animals. They would much rather you'd ignore them, thank you very much. The more you ignore them, the more fascinating you are to them. Cats are more likely to stare at you from across the room, take a flying leap into your lap, and shove their butts right into your face.  There's no point in even trying to walk a cat. The resulting squalling, hissing, and completely boneless blob on the  sidewalk is definitely not a chick magnet. Who walks their cat anyway? Anti-social cats are more likely to stare menacingly at you from under the dresser or bed than attack. Do not approach said cat unless you are wearing leather gloves, a cup, and have excellent life insurance.  Cats are very intuitive, unless they see something shiny...

So which is better? Cats or Dogs?

In my personal opinion, cats are low impact, easy to care for animals and are perfect for my lifestyle. (And if I said any different I wouldn't wake up in the morning...I'd be cat food...) Dogs are more outgoing animals and require a lot more training and attention. Too much in my humble opinion. So in my opinion, cats take the crown as the better animal. Now I'm going to go cuddle up with my little independent monsters and let y'all throw some balls to your dogs...

To Furballs, Dog Breath, and Cat Farts,

Love and Laughter,
-Kat Lady


  1. If I may be so bold as to quote Sassy in Homeward Bound: "CATS RULE, and DOGS DROOL" though there have been a couple dogs in my life that have touched my heart, I am a cat lover through and through. (probably why I get along so well with Mrs. Cat Lady :P~ ) You forgot to mention Cats bury their excrement AND bathe themselves. (dogs try, but usually end up just licking their nuts for fun) Blessed Be!

  2. hey j! Mike here, the other Mike. Give this to Mike, you know the other other Mike.

  3. Is it not possible, that walking your dog is a dude-magnet too?

    . . . . . . oh wait.