To the funny farm Jeeves!

I didn't get enough sleep today. And then I had to type a loosely coherent newspaper article for my mother. I may or may not be hallucinating that my cats are having a consensual sexual experience in the corner. Oh, no that's a hallucination. Moonie just looked at me and asked if I would mind looking somewhere else, then flipped me off. So yeah, that's gotta be my mind messing with me. I may even be writing this blog entry in a dream So anyway, if things seem off kilter it's because I only slept for 3 hours this morning.

At least I wasn't woken up by Evil Zombie Hand of the Apocalypse this morning. That was yesterday, and it was attached to my mother. Apparently 7:48 in the morning is appropriate calling time and 8 am is a good time to visit. Not in my world you old biddy! Grrr...

I got a new dress today though. My friend Biker Babe took me to Walmart and told me to buy the outfit I tried on this morning at 2 am with Owl and Mr. Kat Lady. I mean I tried it on while they were there, not actually WITH them...although they were having a blast holding up the bras and thongs to themselves while I changed. I swear, I can't take them anywhere! I also tried on an awesome swimsuit that I am picking up on Friday. It's 30 bucks, but its Catalina Suddenly Slimmer. I have a complex about my tummy. Mr. Kat Lady doesn't really care what size I am as long as I'm in good health, but I feel like I am carrying around an alcoholic Scotsman's beer belly.

I am now typing with one eye open. See what I do for you, my faithful readers? Good god this is hard to type with one eye open. Guess those high school typing classes finally paid off though...Thanks Mrs. Hanschewbacca....(What? she was REALLY hairy.)

Now I just need to find a use for Calculus. Yeah, THAT's gonna happen...lol. When I find a use I'll let you know.

Biker Babe and I also spent an inordinate amount of time at O'Reilly Auto Parts. Sorry, dude that was our cashier, you are probably better suited for a job at Walmart. As a greeter. I have seen mentally challenged people move faster and more coordinated than your lazy butt. Oh, and how's about actually having some kind of automotive knowledge? I've only been in automotive stores with my husband and with my dad, and I STILL schooled you on my friends car. Here's your sign. It says Slow Children Crossing.

Now don't get me wrong, I love mentally challenged people. My aunt (biological) is actually a member of that community. I've just never seen any of them give an excuse when something was hard. So O'Reilly's guy, pull up your panties and do your job.

I love retail. I used to work it. I am exactly the customer I hated to serve. At least I give a condescending smile though! Well, off to finish planning the anniversary weekend. Must hurry before Hurricane Shirley tries to get her hands in it.

To more sleep and less insanity,

Love and Laughter,
-Kat Lady