Sir, can you spare a dollar....for some earrings? Please? They're SHINY!!

I love the dollar store. You know, the one where EVERYTHING is a dollar. I walk in, and I am immediately hypnotized by the plethora of cheap things I really don't need.  Now, I must say, usually I go there for things like lightbulbs or paper towels or toilet paper. But I always leave with many more things than I came to get.

My current addiction is earrings. Two whole racks of earrings, that change weekly. I always pick up a pair that catches my eye because it may not be there next week. This has led to my surplus of earrings. I only have one piercing in my ears, so that's only 2 available holes for earrings. I have amassed a collection worthy of Imelda Marcos and her shoes. I am an earring addict.

The problem is, when I see an earring I like, I can always see where I am going to wear it. But honestly, when am I going to go to a prom as an adult? And how am I going to be able to wear those really heavy ones for more than 5 minutes?

My friends joke I have a cat brain. Completely focused, and then....OOOOOooooo SHINY! If it sparkles, and it's in the dollar store, it's mine. This has led to many terse arguments with Mr. Kat Lady over exactly how many GD pairs of earrings I need, thank you very much. He just doesn't get it. I can wear earrings and they look so pretty they distract from the fact I am not wearing makeup or a bra. Well at least they distract from the makeup part anyway.

He was wholly against the whole dollar store 2 blocks away thing until I brought him something from there he could not hate. Toe socks. He is madly in love with toe socks. The tackier the better. His favorite pair looks like Elmo, Oscar the Grouch, and Cookie Monster sacrificed themselves to a blender. He is okay with those, but has a problem with pretty earrings?

I also enjoy the makeup selection they have. I don't really spend a lot on makeup, so dollar makeup is good. Also being an artist with a drag queen and a stripper on speed dial ensures I keep the makeup mishaps to a minimum.

My husband is what I like to call "Fashion Concerned" and likes to make sure we both look decent before we leave the house, so he helps me pick out my clothes for the day. And he's honest, so I trust him. He has long curly hair, and spends copious amounts of time caring for it, so in a way he's much more high maintenance than me.

He understands my need for SHINY and usually forgives me for buying the dollar store out of earrings and metallic makeup. (the gold is really pretty!) All he asks is that I keep writing and try to take out the trash every once in a while.

He's so patient and really a good guy, but I have a sneaking suspicion that one of these nights I will come home and find him in my makeup...oh well, he can be as metrosexual as he wants, I still love him.

To Ferragamos and dollar store earrings,

Love and Laughter,

-Kat Lady