Ok, so I dropped the ball. A lot.

Let me start with an apology. I completely dropped the ball on posting this last week or so.  I have no excuse, just being lazy. That being said, time to get on to the post.

Today I feel like annihilating something with my awesome super powers. Super powers that I don't technically have (yet). I plan on getting bitten by a radioactive spider (like the one that lives in my microwave) or splashed with toxic waste (when I change a diaper). Heck even being kidnapped by aliens and shot up with some random substance that activates my latent powers. You see, I have known for years that I have latent super powers. Everybody does, you just have to know where to look.

My most obvious latent super power is the ability to draw crazies to myself...Instant League of Super Heroes! The crazies are always the ones who have the latent powers. So I guess I have the power of attraction...

I also have the power of empathy. You know, it's starting to sound like I'll end up as one of those Captain Planet weirdos. (Anything but Heart...Anything but Heart...Anything but Heart!) Maybe my tears would be acid or something cool like that...

I doubt I'd be cool enough for super speed or laser eyes or anything like that. Maybe toxic farts. That could be a helpful super power. Or maybe the Evil Eye...disfiguring villains with a mere look. Das Bear says I am good at that already.

I guess I have a million possibilities when the aliens take me! How awesome! I just hope I don't get x-ray vision. I have too sensitive of a gag reflex to handle that.

Up, Up, and Away!

Love and Laughter,
-Kat Lady

Getting older...one gray hair at a time...

Today Das Bear and I got to take a wonderful little girl (Barbie) rollerskating for a girl scout party. It was great to see her fly around the rink and pretend she was ours for an evening. I had made a major error in my thinking when it came to skating with her, however...I have NO balance.

After sitting on the sidelines in my size 9 skates for most of the event, Das Bear finally decided to dare me to try to make it around the rink once.  Yeah, so being dared immediately spiked me into the "oh, no he didn't" mode and I had to prove to him I could do it. So there I went, a menace on 8 wheels, determined to not mow down small children in my quest for victory. About 10 feet from where I started, I discovered something untoward was happening, starting at my ankles and working up. Suddenly my feet were separated about twice as wide as necessary, and the distance was quickly becoming a bigger problem.  Soon, with a yelp I was spread eagle, in the splits, in front of everyone. Luckily I am used to being a clumsy oaf and was able to laugh it off as I stood up.

Apparently I am completely able to ice skate on two little slivers of metal, but cannot balance on 8 big sturdy wheels. I managed to make it through the rest of the trip around the rink, with a few windmills and quick stops. Das Bear found this to be highly entertaining. By the time I came around the last corner, it was a matter of pride, and I HAD to finish strong. So strong I nearly ran down a four year old and clotheslined myself on a half wall.

I'm pretty sure none of that nonsense is going to help my back feel good tomorrow. Oh, well, I guess it was about time I learned my limits.  I just felt another gray hair pop up.

Well, now that it's apparent I have no sporting abilities whatsoever I think it's time for me to apply to the Amazing Race again. Goldarnit they need to pick me so I can prove to my husband that we could TOTALLY win!

To Roller Skates and Rug Burn,

Love and Laughter,
-Kat Lady