Wednesday Battle: Cats Versus Dogs

I have decided to institute a new feature! Wednesday Battles will feature competitions between two things, from a humorous perspective...

For the inaugural Wednesday Battle, we'll examine a common war. Cats Vs. Dogs. Let us begin.


Dogs are inherently social animals. So social that they will walk up to a stranger and sniff at their tuna fish taco or extra large hotdog. Yep, a snout straight to the crotch is one way to introduce yourself, but often is considered rude. Dogs will usually introduce themselves with a bark or wag of tail, but occasionally introduce themselves by peeing all over themselves and your shoes. When going for walks, dogs are often chick magnets and can probably get you laid every once in a while. Some dogs are anti-social and would rather rip off your arm than sniff your crotch. Dogs are widely known as man's best friend, and are loyal to the end. Unless they smell something interesting...

Cats are independent and high strung animals. They would much rather you'd ignore them, thank you very much. The more you ignore them, the more fascinating you are to them. Cats are more likely to stare at you from across the room, take a flying leap into your lap, and shove their butts right into your face.  There's no point in even trying to walk a cat. The resulting squalling, hissing, and completely boneless blob on the  sidewalk is definitely not a chick magnet. Who walks their cat anyway? Anti-social cats are more likely to stare menacingly at you from under the dresser or bed than attack. Do not approach said cat unless you are wearing leather gloves, a cup, and have excellent life insurance.  Cats are very intuitive, unless they see something shiny...

So which is better? Cats or Dogs?

In my personal opinion, cats are low impact, easy to care for animals and are perfect for my lifestyle. (And if I said any different I wouldn't wake up in the morning...I'd be cat food...) Dogs are more outgoing animals and require a lot more training and attention. Too much in my humble opinion. So in my opinion, cats take the crown as the better animal. Now I'm going to go cuddle up with my little independent monsters and let y'all throw some balls to your dogs...

To Furballs, Dog Breath, and Cat Farts,

Love and Laughter,
-Kat Lady

My friends...also known as "The Peanut Gallery"

I have the greatest friends in the world. They also happen to be the most diverse group of crazies I have ever known and loved. Today I will spend a good part of the post gleefully poking them! Remember, all fun is made with nothing but love.

Going WAY back, there is a friend who has dipped in and out of my life, now back in for good. She's such a good friend she even accidentally named her kids after my husband! ;) We'll call her Birdie. Birdie and Das Bear were an item long before I came along. Birdie is known for chasing her babies, laughter, and being terminally impregnable...even on the pill! She's such a good friend that she even helped put Das Bear and I together! (Well, I'm sure if she had been given a choice I'd be married to someone else right now, but she was graceful and kind enough to give him to me...)

One of Birdie and I's best friends happens to be my first gay friend. We'll call him Gayru. Gayru saved more than his share of emotional lives during Birdie and I's teen years. Gayru also happens to be a Gold Star Gay! (I had to brag for him...) He brings the snap to my sarcasm, and french to my toast. He even strapped himself into a death machine with Birdie and I once. (I believe this was the episode where I attained my fear of heights...)

Then, as I am on the Gay Train, there's Owl. Owl is the least cliche gay I know.  He looks very manly (I believe they call them Bears.) and acts very straight...unless he's dressed as his alter-ego The Lube Fairy.  He's great at listening and terrible at following directions. Believe me, any trip with him during tornado season is truly an adventure!


Speaking of adventure, there's my friend London Bridges. If that sounds like a stripper name, it's because it is. I can't say I don't enjoy the free shows when she comes over to show her new outfits though.  LB's daughter Freebird is like a daughter to us, and is a constant source of hilarity. LB is good at her job, and she'll be the first to tell you that. Now if only we could find her a man who can look up long enough from her boobs to fall in love with her brain...

And brains leads me to my newest friend, Rabbit. Rabbit is the most excited and friendly person I have ever met. She's like a shot of espresso in an energy drink. It's very refreshing, unless you are trying to follow what she is saying...I say "slow down" a lot. LOL It's impossible not to like her, she is so honest and genuine. She's the kind of friend who will tell you if your butt really does look big in those pants. And you will thank her for it.

Finally, there is that group of friends that are really family. We like to call ourselves the Island of Misfit Toys. Starting from the top, Redbird- the neurotic but motivated mother figure that will sell her left kidney if it will help a friend.(I think she may have offered once...). Her husband Silver is a big teddy bear, unless you mess with his clan...then you've got a Grizzly ready to maul. Silver is possibly the most hilarious nurse I have ever met. Next is Foxy Lady. FL is a mama to the nth degree. Technically she's a grandma to the nth degree too. If only we could encourage her to let MonkeyButt cry until he sleeps...but that's a grandma thing. She's the peanut butter to my celery.  Her husband Dragon is my best bud, and we joke I'm the long distance girlfriend because we talk on the phone nearly every day! He's like a marshmallow egg. Hard on the outside until you find out how to crack him and find the gooey inside. (That sounded a lot dirtier that I intended. We are not "that" kind of friends. I promise.) Biker Babe throws some adventure into the mix, riding her Honda Davidson right into our hearts. Leather and Lace...that's her to a tee. Amazon is a new addition to the Island also. She's got the snap of cinnamon and spice that just makes the whole dish work.

All of my friends have their quirks and idiosyncrasies, and I am sure you will hear more about them in future posts, along with Alien Queen, and Sir Aqueduct.

To Quirky Friends and Friendly Quirks,

Love and Laughter,
-Kat Lady